Another Frakin’ Valentine’s Day

Another Valentine’s Day is upon us, which is great if you happen to be female & attached. If you are single, you get to be reminded constantly just how sad & pathetic you are. The only Valentine I can look forward to is from my daughter.

I think married men & those with girlfriends (or heaven forbid both) might have it the worst of all because if you screw it up (& sooner or later you will) you’ll never live it down. Shame on you!

First there are the flowers, preferably delivered to her at work for all the world to see. Then there’s dinner at a fancy restaurant so she can wear that dress (you know, the one that goes with strappy heels) & you’d better break out that blazer & hope still fits. Then there’s the gift…

For the last few weeks every TV, newspaper & billboard has been telling you that only diamonds can express your love for her. You slide that little box across the table & hope for the best (you did go to Jared, didn’t you?). That is unless you took a chance on something ‘outside the box’ & went for a ‘Day of Beauty’ something less-than-unique like that. Don’t worry guys, she’ll show you just how much she loves you too. You can enjoy your ‘Beers Of The World’ or gift card from Sears while sulking in your ‘Man Cave’ or at least hiding in the garage.

OK, this is meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, but there is some truth to it all. Just like Christmas, all the ads & hype spoil the holiday for me. If you have to wait for a holiday to show your SO how much you love them, that makes you kind of a dick (or bitch, I’m an equally opportunity offender here). I think the little things you do on a regular basis are more telling, but that’s just me, YMMV.

I’ve always loved going all out for Valentine’s Day. If it’s dorky, I’ve probably done it. I’ve left the trail of Hershey Kisses to the bedroom & card that said "I KISS the ground you walk on" or the custom M&Ms I ordered one year. On another I spent a week at work folding 500 paper roses which I dumped all over the bed while my (ex)wife slept. My co-workers thought I was nuts & maybe they were right. There were home cooked gourmet meals (I did work in a French restaurant for about 5 years) with heart-shaped steaks. I’ve even done Victoria’s Secret, although come to think of it, that might’ve been more for me.

I do think men get shortchanged when it comes to Valentine’s Day. Our only real alternative is Steak & BJ Day, which is supposed to be celebrated on March 14th. I don’t think this happens very often, but I actually had a girlfriend who was almost as enthusiastic about it as I was. So far Hallmark isn’t making cards yet, but we can always hope.